You Cannot Be Serious

You Cannot Be Serious Podcast with Sam Newman

You Cannot Be Serious is an independent Australian podcast hosted by Sam Newman, a former professional footballer and a long-standing figure in the country’s sports media landscape. Based in Melbourne, the program serves as an unfiltered platform for commentary on current events, sports, and societal trends. Newman, known for his career with the Geelong Football Club and his decades on television, brings a direct and often provocative perspective to a wide range of topics, ensuring the show remains a consistent source of debate within the Australian media sphere.

The podcast’s content is predominantly structured around topical chat and opinion pieces. While Australian Rules Football (AFL) serves as a frequent focal point—covering everything from on-field performance to the administrative decisions of the league—the scope of the show extends far beyond the sporting arena. Episodes regularly delve into local and national politics, international affairs, and cultural critiques. Common themes include the state of civil liberties, the evolution of social norms, and critiques of mainstream media reporting.

The format is conversational and typically features Newman alongside recurring co-hosts and guest contributors who share backgrounds in professional sports or journalism. This dynamic allows for a blend of insider sporting anecdotes and robust discussion on modern life. Episodes are frequently divided into multiple segments or parts, allowing the hosts to pivot from lighthearted banter to serious analysis of global political developments, such as the American electoral process or Victorian state governance.

Characterized by a straightforward production style, the show prioritizes the dialogue and personal opinions of its hosts over complex sound design. It caters to an audience looking for perspectives that often sit outside the conventional media consensus. By maintaining a frequent release schedule, the podcast provides timely reactions to the news cycle, positioned through the lens of one of Australia’s most recognizable and outspoken public figures. Through its mix of sports analysis and social commentary, the program continues to engage with a dedicated listenership interested in direct, unscripted discourse.

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Episode's summary

The hosts discuss a media personality's alleged dating scandal and criticize the potential hypocrisy of journalists reporting on it. The conversation shifts to political topics, including One Nation's popularity, the reinstatement of Australia Day in Melbourne, and reflections on COVID-19 restrictions in Victoria. The speakers also address controversial topics including gender identity in sports, legal comparisons regarding bail for Nicky Winmar and Ralph Carr, and recent allegations involving Mitch Cleary. The segment concludes with discussions on 'Welcome to Country' ceremonies and criticisms of media coverage.

Chapters

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Highlights

A high-placed media figure has been accused of cheating with a senior AFL club staffer while his partner was pregnant.

00:00:32 · The host introduces the central gossip topic regarding an alleged scandal involving a media personality.

One Nation is surging, in my opinion, Duck, is because their name says it all. They want one nation for everyone, a homogeneous society

00:05:00 · The speaker provides his interpretation of why the One Nation political party is gaining momentum.

I've got to admit, I bent the rules. I'm one of the bend, and no one will be surprised by that, but I broke the curfew.

00:10:55 · The host admits to personally violating COVID-19 lockdown regulations in Victoria.

And if you are born a man, I don't think you should be playing in women's sport.

00:15:55 · The speaker expresses his firm stance on biological sex and participation in female sports categories.

Carr has indicated he's appealing and he has been offered no such leniency about being able to be released on bail.

00:22:21 · The speaker highlights what he perceives as an inconsistency in how the justice system handles bail for different individuals.

Episodes

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Episode 377 - Part 2 - Real Opinions

The hosts discuss a media personality's alleged dating scandal and criticize the potential hypocrisy of journalists reporting on it. The conversation shifts to political topics, including One Nation's popularity, the reinstatement of Australia Day in Melbourne, and reflections on COVID-19 restrictions in Victoria. The speakers also address controversial topics including gender identity in sports, legal comparisons regarding bail for Nicky Winmar and Ralph Carr, and recent allegations involving Mitch Cleary. The segment concludes with discussions on 'Welcome to Country' ceremonies and criticisms of media coverage.

02 Sep 2026
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Episode 377 - Part 1 - Selected Opinions

The hosts discuss recent controversies involving Sydney Swans players and the media's role in public judgment, alongside an analysis of how player statistics influence Brownlow Medal voting. The conversation also covers AFL finals predictions for matchups involving Fremantle, Hawthorn, Geelong, Carlton, and Brisbane. The episode further explores Scott Pendlebury's new dual role with the Gold Coast, critiques recent comments made by Sydney CEO Andrew Dillon, and concludes with a prediction for the elimination final between the Crows and Bulldogs.

02 Sep 2026
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Episode 376 - Part 2 - Minor Pickings

This episode features a discussion on recent developments within the AFL, including coaching changes at Essendon and Greater West Sydney, and legal disputes involving Melbourne Football Club's former CEO. The conversation shifts to broader social and political critiques, addressing topics such as gender diversity committees in sports, immigration impacts on the Australian job market, and concerns regarding curriculum influences in schools. The host concludes by discussing the program's long-standing commitment to independent broadcasting without corporate sponsorship.

24 Aug 2026
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Episode 376 - Part 1 - Hysteria Reigns

In this episode of You Cannot Be Serious, the host addresses the ongoing controversy involving Sydney Swans players following an incident in Melbourne. The discussion centers on the lack of criminal charges following allegations of drug use and inappropriate conduct at a hotel. The host argues against severe sporting sanctions like suspensions, suggesting instead that heavy financial fines would be a more appropriate way to hold players accountable without damaging the club's finals campaign. The episode also critiques the involvement of legal teams and the media's role in amplifying the scandal. The host examines the details surrounding the presence of sex workers at the scene and questions the claims of trauma, while calling for the AFL to resolve the matter quickly through financial penalties to prevent a lasting stain on the competition.

24 Aug 2026
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Episode 375 - Part 2 - Can we be saved

The speakers examine the rise of right-wing political movements, linking figures like Donald Trump and Nigel Farage to growing concerns over immigration and national identity. They criticize mainstream media bias, specifically targeting the ABC, and discuss the impact of 'cancel culture' on free speech. The conversation further explores political grievances including government funding of activist groups, the economic aftermath of COVID-19 policies in Victoria, and the influence of the 'deep state' on global conflicts involving Russia and Ukraine. The episode concludes with a discussion on Australian political accountability and a personal travel update.

19 Aug 2026