The Imperfects

Have we ruined the art of being a beginner? 💌 To join our journaling club, with 9,900+ others, subscribe to my imperfect email - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ With guest host Hamish Blake, we welcome back friend (family?) of the show James van Cuylenburg to expertly guide us through beginners’ mindset: what is it, how can we harness it, and what is the best way to model it for our kids? In a time where kids are wanting to be the GOAT of a sport they learnt about yesterday, we’re winding back the clock to reframe the anger and frustration of trying a new skill, and to learn just how great persistence is for our identity. James leads us through why we avoid discomfort, the role of dopamine and reward, and when to allow ourselves to quit something. This episode contains lots of helpful advice for anyone wanting to adopt a beginners’ mindset, and embrace ‘friction maxing’ as their next expedition into embracing discomfort. Chapters 00:00:00 The Beginner's Mindset 00:01:32 Childhood…

Gina Chick grew up… different. She wasn’t like the other kids, and they let her know about it. But as an adult she learned to see her “different” as a strength, which led to her most well-known achievement, outlasting everyone else for 67 days in the Tasmanian wilderness to win ALONE Australia. But as you’ll hear, that’s only a part of her story - as is the fact that she’s very close friends with Hugh Jackman. After going through some of the lowest lows a human can experience, Gina learned the power of discomfort and is here to spread the word in our very first ever outdoor episode! To learn more about Gina, her rewilding camps and 5Rythyms dance, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3QRnkzq To watch Alone Australia, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3Rd3m3 This episode includes a discussion about the loss of a child, if this feels like it might be too much for you to listen to right now, feel free to come back to it when you're feeling up to it. The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a…

It’s time we talked about the mental load. Again. 💌 To join our journaling club, with 9,900+ others, subscribe to my imperfect email - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ Consider this a companion episode to our infamous, most shared episode of 2023, The Elephant in the Relationship where Hugh and Penny introduced us to their mental load, and how they were trying to make it more equal in their relationship. Today we’re sprinkling in some expertise and scientific data, as we’re joined by Professor Leah Ruppanner who explains to Hugh, Ryan and Josh that there’s actually 8 different types of mental load, and not all of them are draining. Bringing examples from their own lives, Hugh, Ryan and Josh discuss with Leah why the mental load can seem like an insurmountable amount of emotional thinking, and how partners can better communicate to reduce anxiety-like symptoms and burnout. We chat to Leah about the exacerbation of the mental load when chronic illness becomes part of the equation,…

In the end, Matt Nable wished his brother would give in. Motor neurone disease had taken everything, except his brother’s will to live. 💌 To join our journaling club, with 9,000+ others, subscribe to my imperfect email - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ Joining us in the studio today is writer, actor, boxer, and former rugby league player, Matt Nable. Recognisable for playing infamous tough guys on screen (Arrow, Underbelly, The Dry), Matt’s experience of loss and mental ill health has starkly redefined what he believes it is to ‘be a man’. Using the analogy of a ‘double edged sword’, Matt explains his experience with bipolar and hypomania, and how those periods have lead to the best, and worst, decisions of his life. Matt is incredibly generous in sharing his experience of biological melancholia depression, and explores with Josh just how quickly everything can seem to unravel. Matt speaks about the immense grief he carries for his brother who passed away MND, and how he was able…

This is not your mother’s perimenopause. 💌 To join our journaling club, subscribe to my imperfect email - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ Joined by guest host Zoë Foster Blake, and Dr Fatima Khan, we’re diving head first into perimenopause: the what, the why, and the how-the-f**k to deal with it. Typically beginning in your late 30’s, and in your brain of all places, perimenopause symptoms include heightened anxiety, irritability, sleep disturbances, brain fog … all things that make you feel further and further away from your best self. Beginning 5 -7 years BEFORE your last menstrual period, perimenopause can coincide with postpartum, the most important presentation of your career to date, and the uncovering of neurodivergence, which may have been painstakingly masked until this shift in hormones. With the expertise of Dr Fatima, and the lived experience of Zoë, we hope this episode makes you feel seen, less alone, and ready to have THAT conversation with your GP. Chapters…

Angie’s OCD obsessions are that she has committed her worst, most insidious, fears. 💌 Join 9,500+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ Officially diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) when she was 19, some of Angie’s earliest memories are of obsessions, compulsions and seeking reassurance. Joining us in the studio, Angie talks to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the reality of living with OCD, how she navigates particularly bad episodes with her partner, and why she wouldn’t wish it on her worst enemy Angie explains false memories, and the lengths she has gone to seek reassurance, and finally, why it is so important to her to create something that helps people feel less alone. In amongst all of the OCD chat, Hugh asks Angie about her anti-discrimination work and the beautiful story of where that passion came from. Chapters 00:00:00 – Trailer 00:01:27 – Angie + Hugh don’t do small talk 00:03:46 – Why Angie accepted an ARIA on behalf of Sia…

Mid 20's and $250,000 in debt. Gripped by a gambling addiction. How do you recover? 💌 Join 9,500+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ From the outside, it looked like Luke Bateman was living the dream: a professional NRL career with ludicrous pay checks and sponsorship deals. On the inside, Luke was battling a crippling gambling addiction, deepening depression and a widening chasm between the character he was playing, and his true authentic self. With immense courage, honesty and vulnerability, Luke takes Hugh, Ryan and Josh through the ups and downs of his recovery journey. Luke unpicks the difference between unconditional love and conditional help from his parents, and why his time in rehab was the best thing that ever happened to him. Luke speaks about how his journey with addiction impacted his relationship with his mum, and the gratitude he feels for her now, and how learning about internal family systems changed his life forever. Luke, you…

Do you live in fear of being found out as a fraud? That despite your years of competency, achievement and high performance someone will uncover the truth? Well, you’re in the right place. Our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove is here to tell you that your imposter syndrome is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, it’s not even a syndrome. 💌 Get practical take-aways from this episode, and join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ To get a little bit meta, Dr Emily explains that knowing that you don’t know everything, is a good thing. Especially if you’re starting a new role, or trying something for the first time. HOWEVER, the long-term consequences of the imposter cycle such as perfectionism, overcompensation, burnout, or even avoidance and procrastination, may impact your willingness to say yes to new opportunities, such as going for that promotion or asking for support. In this episode, Dr Emily asks Hugh, Ryan and Josh to think about the…

When he was 15, Andy Lee’s mum forgot who he was. 💌 Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ Given only two weeks to live, Andy tells Hugh, Ryan and Josh how this news impacted his family, impacted his childhood, and continues to impact his sense of self. And then, we’re going all the way back to the early days of Radio Karate, and Hamish & Andy. In a long overdue conversation (recorded, of course), Ryan and Andy chat about their own friendship dynamic and why they both felt like the odd one out. Getting down to business, Andy and Ryan discuss how a bunch of 20 year old guys made tough financial decisions while trying to remain mates, how they learnt to give constructive criticism to each other, and with the blessing of hindsight, how they feel about that time now. Andy, we’ve been waiting for this episode longer than a baker with his oven off. 0:00 – 2 years of secret vocal coaching 4:35 – HOW long for one cartoon episode? 5:48 – When Andy…

Have you ever watched the person you love most get everything you ever wanted? Did you harden around envy, or shrink with comparison? Were you able to find happiness for their success? Philippa Northeast, Logie nominated and lead of Netflix’s My Brilliant Career, is a star quickly rising. Her most significant role? The little sister of our producer, Bridge. 💌Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Joining us as a guest host, Producer Bridge, alongside Hugh, Josh and Ryan, discuss the years of failure and rejection behind the scenes of Pip’s overnight success. Constantly aware of the need to prove herself a success, Philippa is completely vulnerable about the obsession that came from certain rejections, and her anxiety which manifested itself as trichotillomania. Offering a unique and intimate perspective, both Bridge and Josh reflect on their respective siblings’ success, and how that has shaped their own identity. It’s sibling vs sibling, and only one will make it out alive…

What impact does sleep deprivation really have on your wellbeing? What about your parenting? What about your identity? Matt D’Avella has amassed over 4 millions subscribers on YouTube undertaking 30-day wellness challenges, and promoting his minimalist lifestyle. In life that was meticulously controlled, having kids changed everything. 💌Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Blessed with a baby who woke every 30 minutes for the first ten months of their life, Matt chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about how becoming a new parent impacted every facet of his life. Hugh and Josh share just how lonely they have felt at different times during their parenting journey, and Ryan saves the day by holding a baby for a full 40 minutes (save the applause! please!) Matt this was a dream come true. To watch the full episode on YouTube - https://youtu.be/foilZTRGXco 00:00 - I Tried Being Vulnerable for 30 Days 7:03 - Minimalism Maxxing 18:00 - The Vulnerabilitea House 20:25 - Becoming a father,…

How does having cancer as a child impact the way you live as an adult? Uber successful chef and restauranteur Josh Niland doesn’t do things in halves (no, literally, have you read his book The Whole Fish?). From opening a restaurant at 26, to becoming the first Australian to win the James Beard Book of the Year award when he was just 30, Josh’s creativity came from a place of desperation to explore every opportunity presented to him. 💌Join 9,400+ people getting a Dr Emily values worksheet and takeaways from this week’s episode in our newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Diagnosed with cancer 2 days after his 8th birthday, Josh’s childhood transformed in a matter of hours into hospital hallways, chemotherapy and facing his own mortality. In this episode, Josh joins us in the Vulnerabilitea House to talk us through an experience which profoundly changed him, which he is now grateful for. Hugh, Ryan and Josh (our Josh), also ask about where his drive and ambitious creativity comes from, and just how close to…

Is tough love to blame for our shame? 💌Join 9,200+ people getting a Dr Emily values worksheet and takeaways from this week’s episode in our newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy We all know that parent or coach on the sideline who takes under 10’s basketball a liiitttllleee too seriously. And occasionally, tough love might seem to work in the moment, long term, the shame train isn’t going anywhere good. Dr Emily, our resident psychologist, is here to name the shame to tame it, and teach us how we can be shame strippers too (get your head out of the gutter. Shame on you). We go into the difference between shame, humiliation, guilt and embarrassment, bow down to the queen Brene Brown, and introduce ourselves to our own Healthy Adult. Shamelessly, this is one of our best episodes to date. 0:00 – Ever heard of a shame stripper? 6:27 – Bow down to Brene Brown 12:25 – The other self-conscious emotions (they’re shy) 20:51 – Humour and humiliation 29:21 – Shame is a full body experience 36:16 – Beware of who you share…

Can nature help us to feel less alone? 💌Join 9,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ Psychologist on the incredible, Alone Australia series (remember our seminal episode with Gina Chick?), Mark Mathieson is in the Academy of Imperfection to help us understand how nature regulates our body, and how we can reconnect to it in this digital age. Mark talks about how to uncover the person behind the persona, the science behind gardening, and why Hugh had the best sleep of his life in a tent, with no pillow. According to Mark, human are immensely capable of change, and this episode provides a few things we can do to ensure nature is incorporated into our routines, without cramming the schedule more. Mark, it was great to be alone . . . with you. If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIMSSRJg2vQ 0:00 – Ice breaker: where have we…

What is racism, really? 💌Join 9,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ Adam Briggs, rapper, writer, actor, senator and Yorta-Yorta man, joins Hugh, Josh and guest host Nazeem Hussain, to have an honest conversation about racism in Australia. We explore the impact of The Voice Referendum vote, how culture and community impacts identity, and why Briggs has never, ever felt the need to people please (yep, that’s the sound of us frantically scribbling down notes). Briggs also chats about the highs and lows of bipolar II. 0:00 – No boundaries Briggs 5:26 –Big Shep’ Washing Machine 12:25 – This is racism 21:27 – A hyper-vigilante 28:06 – Perfect storm for art 36:09 – Copping it Australia Wide 43:22 – The Yes Vote 53:08 – Australian Culture 57:02 – Never just about music 1:04:50 – Make Aboriginal Cool 1:09:19 – Bipolar, therapy, training 🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Ben Shewry…

Sex is sometimes a taboo topic. Not today! Intimacy expert Ita O’Brien tells us all about the new normal in the bedroom, and how she’s introduced it to Hollywood. 💌Join 9,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy In 2017, Ita O’Brien changed how Hollywood approached sex scenes when she pioneered intimacy co-ordination on the hit Netflix show, Sex Education, by introducing the framework, “Intimacy On Set Guidelines”. She went on to on productions for Netflix, BBC, HBO, Hulu, Amazon, including Sex Education and Normal People, founding her own company Intimacy on Set. And now she’s here. Ita chats with the guys about what sex scenes were like before Intimacy Co-ordination, and all the lies movies taught us about sex. She explains the mysterious orgasm gap, why consent is the foundation of all intimacy, and maybe most importantly of all… the male and female anatomy of arousal! That bit’s at the 16min mark if you’re really in a…

Could you live without your phone for a month? 🩵To hear more episodes like this, join A Little More Imperfects! Patreon - www.patreon.com/theimperfects Apple - http://apple.co/theimperfects This week it's just the three of us. And like Odysseus before us, we embark on a life changing epic. Where he fought the trojans, monsters, cannibals, sirens, the oceans, a cyclops and ACTUAL GODS!! We will do something even ‘EPIC…ER’. We’re tackling our phones. Each of us take on a month-long challenge to fix our worst phone habits, inspired by the ‘god of no phones’ - Christopher Nolan and the release of THE ODYSSEY (if that wasn’t obvious already, but we promise this episode isn't an ad). We then share some of our favourite bits from behind the pay wall, from our Patreon/Subscriber community. Ryan has an unplanned, very generous on-air hair donation; Josh shares a bit from a book which changed his life a bit; which leads to one of the most honest conversations he and Hugh have ever had on (or off) the show, about…

To be jealous is to be human. It is what you do with that feeling that counts. 💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove is in the studio to talk about THAT podcast moment: the one where Ryan admitted he was jealous of Hugh and Hamish Blake’s relationship. The one that lives in Imperfects history. According to Dr Em, we develop the emotion of jealousy at just 9 months old, and it shows up everywhere; family, work, school, friends. Feelings around jealousy can be extremely painful, especially if it is accompanied by shame. In this episode, Dr Emily explores why jealousy can be so dangerous when not listened to, and why our jealous behaviour can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. See you on the other side. If you want to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/dlufNQ7iXCc 00:00 - The Day Has Arrived 02:48 - When Ryan Revealed He Was Jealous of Hugh &…

Want can you learn from playing with a child? In today's Academy of Imperfection, Bluey creator Joe Brumm joins us (for real life), with Hamish Blake stepping in as guest host. 💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy In this episode we dig into the world of play - ”the voluntary overcoming of unnecessary obstacles”, we find out what makes a ‘good’ player and why kids' imaginative play tends to fade around age 12. Josh and Hugh take the chance to wax lyrical about their favourite Bluey episodes, Rain, Fruit Bat, Born Yesterday, The Decider (to name a few). And all three dads also share some moments of parenting shame as we discuss the constant battle for attention between our phones, and our kids. 00:00 - Hamish Blake from Rove 08:13 - Bluey, The Most Streamed TV Show of All Time 11:51 - The Best Definition of Play You've Ever Heard 21:00 - It’s All Improvising 38:02 - Permission to Pretend Again 51:20 - My Kids…

How do you raise a child whose brain works differently? This episode is for parents of kids with ADHD. And parents who have ADHD. And people who don’t have a diagnosis, but would consider themselves ‘fast and loose’. And for everyone who knows someone who fits the above criteria. 💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Janelle Booker, a psychologist who specialises in ADHD, is BACK, this time, to talk to parents of ADHD kids, and how to parent when you yourself have ADHD. And also, ADHD-curious Hamish Blake is here too. We look at the role of dopamine, energy vs stressors, and how to make your mornings less chaotic and more compassionate. Hamish and Janelle. What a duo. 0:00 – A dynamic duo: Hamish and Janelle 5:58 – The penny drop moment for Hugh 11:35 – ADHD or Fast and Loose? 19:56 – The beauty and beast of ADHD brains 22:38 – The life of an ADHD kid 27:16 – A crash course on dopamine 37:26 – Structure, sleep and…

How do you choose who to trust? And how do you show others that you are trustworthy? 💌Join 8,100+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy In this Academy of Imperfection, we are joined by Jimmy Wales, co-founder of Wikipedia. No biggie (BIG biggie). And if there’s one thing Jimmy knows, it's how to garner and imbue the trust of millions. You’re right in feeling like the general level of trust globally is low right now, but this episode is here to step through Jimmy's 7 rules which will help you build, rebuild, and solidify what is in our innate human behaviour. Trust is important, and so is this conversation. 0:00 – BIG deal on the internet 8:41 – The heart behind it all 14:57 – Trust is always personal 20:22 – It’s human nature 23:33 – Good guys of the internet 30:35 – Don’t take sides 38:23 – The circle of trust 40:15 – Own up 46:03 – Let’s call them a civil person If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this…

Do you think you have grit? 💌Join 8,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Research has shown that the most common characteristic of elite performers and high achievers is grit. Understood as the passion and perseverance for very long term goals, Grit is not about natural ability or talent, but rather how we choose to grow. Your favourite resident psychologist, Dr Emily Musgrove, is back in the studio this week to talk about how you can become a grittier person! We also look inward, as Josh asks how to maintain grit when it feels like your inner critic is overwhelmingly loud. Dr Em, so great to have you back. 0:00 – Down with the nonchalance! 5:43 – Talent vs Excellence 10:40 – Interested in finding your interests 16:42 – For the non-naturals in the room 24:22 – Effort is essential for excellence 32:17 – Practicing, kindly 35:01 – Hope is earned 42:06 – The good and bad criticism 53:45 – Encountering pain and discomfort 59:54…

At just 16, Ellyse Perry was the youngest person to ever debut for the Australian International Cricket team. 13 days later, Ellyse debuted for the Matildas. 💌Join 7,800+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Arguably one of the greatest athletes of our time, Hugh, Ryan and Josh chat to Ellyse about how she stays so grounded amidst her incredible success, and whether she is able to separate who she is from what she does. Ellyse chats to the guys about her relationship with her dad (Josh and Hugh furiously take notes), and how both her parents were able to instil a love of trying rather than winning. And then we get onto social anxiety; what it feels like for Ellyse, why she loves silent retreats, and how she manages it in front of her fans. Ellyse, you are a literal ray of sunshine. Please come back anytime. If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/xAZeLzcG43Y 0:00 – Is THAT AI?…

We have a BIG announcement. August 19. Balwyn Cinema. Our first ever live podcast recording. With Hugh, Ryan, Josh, Dr Emily, and you? ARE YOU AS EXCITED AS WE ARE?! And you could win your way there! THE ULTIMATE GOLD CLASS DOUBLE PASS includes: 2 x tickets, flights or a limo if you're already in Melbourne, accomodation for the night, popcorn, choc top, sparkling wine and a personal escort to your seats by former Balwyn Cinema employee Hugh van Cuylenburg! 🏆 Enter here NOW - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/balwyn-entry/ Tickets will go live Monday June 8. 🎟️ Buy here - https://bit.ly/4ecYtTw BUT to enter the competition OR buy tickets, you need a codeword (lowercase). And the only way you will hear the codeword is to be a Little More Imperfects subscriber and listen to the latest episode! So quick, subscribe here! 🩵Patreon - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷Apple Podcast - http://apple.co/theimperfects We can’t wait to see you there x See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. At least, that’s what the Stoic’s say. 💌Join 7,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Today we are joined (deep breath Hugh) by Stoic philosopher Ryan Holiday. Using the wisdom of the past to appreciate the present, Ryan’s work is dedicated to communicating how the practicalities of stoic philosophy can help us lead more present, mindful and resilient lives today. In this incredible chat, Hugh, Josh and Ryan (our Ryan), each present Ryan Holiday with something they have been struggling with in their own lives. Through the lens of Stoic philosophers Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus, Ryan Holiday talks to how stoicism can really help us to live into our values, prioritise presence, and deal with existential dread. We discuss with Ryan the importance of understanding what will actually make you happy (spoiler: it’s not a billion dollars), and how to…

In the age of AI, do you feel that your future is more uncertain? 💌Join 7,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy In today’s Academy of Imperfection, we’re joined by Dr Joel Pearson; a neurofuturist, whose work centres around predicting how AI will impact every aspect of our lives from now on. While many of us (us included) first and foremost imagine the impacts of AI in a tech-revolution-y, robot butler-y, terminator-adjacent way, this episode goes deeper. Joel discusses how young people are forming attachments with AI companions and how we might see, perhaps the first generation in known history with a lower IQ than the one beforehand. We talk about the tangible and interconnected mental health impacts that this major societal disruption will have, and Hugh and Josh ask how in the world can we broach this topic with our kids? BUT, this episode isn’t all doom and gloom. Joel is a tech-optimist, after all. We talk to Joel…

What is your envy telling you? 💌Join 7,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Dr Emily Musgrove, our resident psychologist, is back in the studio to talk about the green-eyed monster, and more importantly, how we can work with it to incorporate more gratitude, appreciation and awareness into our lives (hallelujah). Founded in the evolutionary practice of assessing our status in comparison with others, envy comes from the feeling of lacking something that someone else has. In what may have been an adaptive function for a cave person to secure their basic needs, our brains are not equipped for the intense comparison fed to us via social media. Dr Emily chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the layered experience of envy, and how often, it stems from feeling not-enough or unworthy. Of course, Dr Emily brings the strategies. We explore how to work with envy in our own lives, and how to acknowledge it in the lives of our friends and…

Can you think of a moment that turned your life into ‘before’ and ‘after’? For Reuben Williams, that moment was not his sexual assault, rather, the decision he made in the aftermath to pursue justice. 💌Join 7,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Incredibly vulnerable, Reuben talks Hugh, Ryan and Josh through what it felt like in the 24 hours after the assault, how he knew, undeniably, what happened to him was wrong, and why he chose to report it. We talk about the intricacies of healing, privilege, and having a world class difficult conversation with the ones you love. And then, Josh asks Reuben how you can best show up for your friends who might be going through something similar. Reuben, it was such a privilege having you in the studio. If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/okQnOwV2MJE 0:00 – An Imperfect Meet-Cute 6:44 – The night of the assault 19:28 – Identity,…

In a world so divided by hate, how can we choose to show love? This week we are joined by journalist Jan Fran, who unpacks the horror of witnessing horror. 💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Talking through her unravelling relationship with social media and the utter helplessness she feels watching atrocities cut into 30 second clips, Jan explores how becoming a mother cracked her open in ways she didn’t know possible. Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House to answer every question in the deck (kidding), Jan and Josh discuss the guilt of turning away, and the consequences of leaning in. And finally, Jan bonds with the Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the fundamental importance of deliberately creating community. Jan, you are remarkable. 0:00 – Introducing Josh’s housemate 8:42 – The art of being vulnerable 17:19 – I wish I could stop going on social media. 27:13 – Being cracked open 35:32 – Deliberately building…

According to perinatal and reproductive psychiatrist Dr Edna Lekgabe, matrescence is the motherhood equivalent of adolescence. Puberty 2.0, if you will. 💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Joining us in the academy of imperfection, Dr Edna explores the cataclysmic identity shift women undergo during motherhood, and how partners can best support them. Exploring the impacts of mastrescence with Hugh, Ryan and Josh, Dr Edna breaks down the difference between matrescence, anxiety and depression, and why mental illness is the number one pregnancy complication. We’re talking hormonal changes, physiological changes, sociological changes that are SO significant, you can see them in brain scans. Matrescence is messy, a developmental earthquake, and it’s not talked about nearly enough. This episode might just break the internet (and your heart) wide open. 0:00 – Introducing Hugh’s perinatal psychiatrist 7:30 – Matrescence?…

How do you make sure your kids are proud of who they are? 💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Propelled to international stardom after the release of Kenny, Shane Jacobson’s overnight success was years in the making. Joining us in the studio, Shane is incredibly generous in sharing the cataclysmic impact that humour and laughter has had on his life from a young age. Now at the age where he has attended more funerals than 21st’s, Shane talks about his realisation that he is in for the long mourn, and why he allows himself to feel joy during times of intense grief. Sharing a giggle at a funeral? Absolutely. In a beautiful moment of connection with Hugh, Shane chats about parenting the ‘premium package’ (his neurodivergent child). Shane, this was incredibly joyful. If you’d like to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/VHaK2fSiasA 0:00 – A bird in her where? 3:19 – Butt of the joke…

Are you stuck, focusing on what's wrong in your relationship? Deeply embedded in the work of intimacy, desire and relationships, psychotherapist and best-selling author Esther Perel, ask us to take a look at ourselves first, rather than listing the short comings of our partner. 💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy In this Academy of Imperfection, Hugh (who sadly was violently ill last time we talked to Esther) comes armed with questions about the mental load (with love, from Penny), and how to navigate their differing needs for affection. Ryan asks Esther whether we’re capable of falling in love with AI, and Josh wants to know why we sometimes put up walls with the ones we love the most. And, if you’ve ever asked yourself any of the below, this episode’s for you; is working from home causing social atrophy? what does it mean to be an embodied creature? what are the downfalls of a frictionless relationship? Esther,…

Looking for strategies to help deal with the overwhelm of, well, everything? Same. Dr Emily, our resident psychologist, is back in the studio to talk through overwhelm; how to greet it, how to get through it, and how to build your resilience towards it. 💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy In this episode, Dr Emily introduces how to understand your ‘window of tolerance,’ the cost of being overwhelmed for too long, and what happens when we slip into avoidance. OF COURSE, this episode is delightfully sprinkled with practical strategies that you can do right now, in this moment, to ease the burden of the overwhelm. Dr Em, this episode was an emotional regulation for the ages. 🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Dr Emily - How to Stress Less - https://bit.ly/4tiZa2y Mick Fanning - Riding The Waves Of Loss - https://bit.ly/4s29wCI 📖 Things to read Burnout, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski -…

Is it true that we live in a world without facts? With AI becoming increasingly intertwined with our lives, and fake news infiltrating our screens, where do you go for truthful information and how do you know what to trust? 💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy This Academy of Imperfection is not all doom and world collapse, we promise. One, because we are joined by the brilliant Hamish Macdonald. And two, because Ryan’s Gut says it’s all going to be okay (more on that later). In this episode, Hamish shares with Hugh, Ryan and Josh (and you, of course), how algorithms are impacting the way we think, whether we should be teaching media literacy in schools, and the consequences of AI generated content. Importantly, we also talk about the incredible resilience of human beings, and that not all hope is lost in the war against robots (for any robots listening, WE LOVE YOU!) For anyone else out there feeling overwhelmed,…

Is climate anxiety affecting your decision to have kids? 💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House is Bri Lee; prolific author, advocate and change maker. Answering the question, “what moment from your life are you grateful for that profoundly changed you?”, Bri talks about the research that lead her to the South Pole, and how she learnt to prioritise love above all else. Bri asks the question to Hugh, Josh and Ryan, “what does it mean to live a good life, and what do we owe each other?” This chat explores the philosophies of anti and pronatalism, whilst being grounded in examples from the guys’ and Bri’s life. An intentional and judgement free zone, this conversation delves into the morality of should’s and shouldn’ts, and what it means to do the right thing. As Bri says, hope is something that you earn through action, and we are all feeling a bit more hopeful after this episode.…

When Ben Crowe, world-renowned professional mentor and leadership coach, tells us his favourite mantra, we listen. “I am enough no matter what, but I’m not done yet”. 📺 If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/-0WWUuxvcyQ Back in The Academy of Imperfection FOR THE THIRD TIME, Ben is here to talk to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about purpose, play and love. As Ben explains, ‘play’ and ‘love’ mean something different to everyone, however, they are both ridiculously important and explicitly linked. If love is the intention, then play is the action. Ben, as always, it was an absolute pleasure to your wisdom bestowed upon us. 💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy 0:00 – Is Ben the Pope? 11:13 – Acceptance vs compassion, confidence vs belief 15:14 – Reshaping your belief system 25:05 – Just Admit It List 30:42 – The dreaded E word 37:47 – Reward effort, not outcome 46:00 – Play…

According to Matt Preston, he only has 14 more summers. And he’s determined to make the most of them. 💌Join 5,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Known predominantly for his role on the inaugural (and incredibly successful) seasons of MasterChef Australia, alongside his excellent choice of cravats, Matt Preston is a recognisable face in most Australian households. Joining Hugh, Ryan and Josh in the studio (in yet another incredible outfit), Matt delicately talks through the importance of having a conversation with your parents about end-of-life care. In a decision that requires both deep emotion and administrative focus, Matt draws from his experience with his grandmother, and then his mother, about how to ensure the people you love are nurtured, cared for, and celebrated in the way they would have wanted. Matt, thank you so much for joining us. 0:00 – The typo to end all typos 9:13 – Every family has a scandal 24:34 – The…

Pain is inevitable, but suffering does not have to be. 💌Join 5,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Dr Emily Musgrove, our resident psychologist and general provider of wisdom, is here to talk about radical acceptance. Drawing inspiration from our holy grail episode with Gina Chick, Dr Em deep dives radical acceptance; what is it, how do we cultivate it, and why is it important to us as human beings? According to Dr Em, radical acceptance is not about liking or accepting (insert profanity here) situations or circumstances, or denying an experience, but rather, accepting the pain inside of us to avoid the reaction of suffering. Instead of feeling better, it’s about finding a better way of feeling. For Hugh, the concept of radical acceptance really hits close to home, and he reflects on how it has changed his life insurmountably. Dr Emily, we love ya, and we missed ya. If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube,…

You just have to be a good parent 30-40% of the time. According to the research, and parenting expert Maggie Dent. 💌Join 5,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy In our Academy of Imperfection, Maggie schools parents Hugh and Josh, and trusted non-parental figure Ryan, about the ‘no matter what’ rule, the importance of micro connections and the beauty of a well-timed fart. An advocate for imperfect parenting (which is REALLY great for brand alignment), Maggie insists on the significance of unconditional love when raising boys. Maggie you are wonderful. This was wonderful. You’re the best. Watch the full episode on YouTube - https://youtu.be/iUHYScQ3WgQ 0:00 – Why boys are better than girls 6:22 – The science of boys 14:02 – Shedding the shame 22:28 – Growing healthy boys 31:09 – Connecting with your rooster 42:56 – The S words: screens and social media 47:00 – The good enough factors 57:45 – Correcting the narrative 1:06:05 –…

What do you do when your 3 day-old-baby just doesn’t wake up? 💌Join 5,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Motherhood is really hard. And Bron Lewis isn’t afraid to talk about it (anymore). Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House, Bron answers the question ‘when was a time you genuinely needed help and were you able to ask for it?’, and recounts the worst week of her life. Deals with the devil, post-natal anxiety, and post-natal depression, Bron is incredibly vulnerable with Hugh and Ryan, sharing how the love from friends, professional help, and medication allowed her to return to herself. Bron, it was a delight. To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/qc9ZNO6VpeY 0:00 – We’re all best friends / fathers / daughters 8:51 – When was a time you genuinely needed help? 18:44 – Long nights, relentless days 25:42 – Socially accepted punishment 33:36 – Using pain to drown out the noise 40:50 –…

Two cataclysmic events have shaped Dr Lucy Hone’s relationship with grief, and resilience. 💌Join 5,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Today in the Academy of Imperfection, we welcome Dr Lucy Hone. Dr Lucy’s work focuses on making sense of the senseless, and helping others to do the same. As a legitimate expert in grief, resilience and wellbeing, Dr Lucy is able to blend the science with her own lived experience. This episode explores living losses (divorce, estrangement, infertility), grief comparison, as well as the research around post-traumatic growth. Guided by questions from Dr Lucy’s latest book, How will I ever get through this?, Hugh, Josh and Ryan ask Dr Lucy why grief feels so lonely, how you are supposed to accept loss, and will you ever be happy again, amongst others. This is a special one. 0:00 – An Unsuspecting Saturday Morning 12:11 – Grief comparison 21:25 – How am I supposed to accept this? 31:14 – How do…

Stop. Everything. Now. It’s Claudia Karvan day. 💌Join 5,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy An icon of the screen, and of the heart, Claudia is Australian entertainment royalty. Claudia’s life itself feels like a movie (no one else grew up in a nightclub, did they?) and it was an absolute privilege to listen to all the lessons that she has learnt along the way. With incredible grace, Claudia talks to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about playing the long game during divorce, and how she came to the realisation that it wasn’t up to her to fix everything. Claudia speaks openly about separating the person from the diagnosis, and how, and why, she thinks so often about death. This is one for the highlight reel. If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, click on this link - https://youtu.be/4qH4vBr0i6Y 0:00 – Hugh ‘questionable-decisions’ van Cuylenburg 12:24 – The role of a lifetime 17:55 – An unconventional childhood 28:50 –…

Ryan’s got news. Well, past-Ryan had news, and now future-Ryan is going to reflect on how present-day-Ryan is currently feeling about said news. Get it? It’s reflecting on a reflection about a rejection. Today we’re giving you two for the price of none, and bringing you two of the most memorable moments from our subscriber based show A Little More Imperfects. With both segments focusing on wildest dreams, Hugh, Ryan and Josh explore how to navigate regret when you’re not at your best, and how to show yourself compassion and love when your dreams are, well, crushed. Also, we ask Hugh what happened to him today. If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/Ilg-r9gHGPk 🩵Sign up for A Little More Imperfects here Patreon - patreon.com/theimperfects Apple Podcasts - https://bit.ly/4aSIeKd 🩷Sign up to the My Imperfect Email here https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode James van Cuylenburg - Love Your…

Do you believe in ghosts? Josh doesn’t, Ryan does, and Hugh is actually being haunted. 🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale! One show left! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep It’s the second episode of our super sexy summer series (the alliteration is wild in this episode), and we’re revisiting the time that Hugh got haunted. Blending together a few episodes of A Little More Imperfects, our subscriber platform that you can sign up for below, we’ll introduce you to Geraint the shamanic healer, what happened during Hugh’s ghost busting appointment, and whether Hugh has had any paranormal activity since. And finally, whether this whole ordeal has convinced Josh that ghosts are real. Long live summer! 0:00 – A phoenus? Draw it 4:17 – Team Josh v Team Ryan 10:28 – Meeting the shamanic healer 16:25 – The not-so-light-hearted update 30:01 – Cursed artwork: to burn or not to burn 35:46 – Has the ghost been busted? If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link -…

Today, we come to you with a gift: bonus Dr Emily. Thank you in advance for the standing ovation. 🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale! One show left! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep Welcoming you into the world of A Little More Imperfects, our subscriber-based platform available on Patreon and Apple Podcasts, our resident psychologist Dr Emily reaches into the reflection pond, to discuss and decode a reflection from one of our community members. Responding to this reflection, Dr Emily chats to Ryan, Josh, and special guest Producer Bridge, about how life changing it can be to receive an ADHD diagnosis, as well as the not so joyful emotions, such as grief and anger, which can accompany this. Josh talks about his own inner critic, which leads into a broader discussion about self-compassion, top down vs bottom up therapy, and the therapeutic benefits to showing up for your younger self as the adult you are today. Don’t say we don’t spoil you. If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube,…

Little heads up, this episode contains some language that is exclusively found on the naughty list, and therefore, isn’t suitable for kids. Now, it’s time to spill some Vulnerabili-TEA. It’s our annual holiday episode, and this year, with many thanks to comedian Becky Lucas, we welcome into the studio Little Drummer Girl. Who has some, um, grievances to air. Little Drummer Girl is taking us back in the space-time-continuum to re-write history, and let us in on the scandal which surrounds the infamous lyrics ‘pa rum pum pum pum’. All ad revenue from this episode will be donated to Becky’s chosen charity of HeartKids, who do an incredible job providing lifelong support, resources, and advocacy to the 250,000 people impacted by childhood-onset heart disease. 0:00 – Introducing the Little Drummer Girl 5:50 – The ultimate gift guide 9:51 – An original song, an original crime 15:22 – Sharing enriching information from 20 AD 25:28 – Know what you’re good at 30:20 - Hello Becky, Hello HeartKids If you want to watch…

Dave Hughes has a complicated relationship with his ego. Performing in prestigious venues around the world, Dave Hughes has solidified himself as one of Australia’s comedy icons, but the journey was (and still is) far from easy. Joining us in the studio today, Dave vulnerably shares how the burden of feeling unworthy affected his ability to give and receive love. Dave chats to Ryan about how much he has struggled with comparison, both with others, and the success of his past self, and the role that ego plays in never being able to turn down an opportunity. Hughesy, thank you so much for joining us. 0:00 – Ryan got papped, Hugh got crumpets 7:19 – The failures that lead to success 17:12 – A feeling of general greatness 21:06 – Reckoning with comparison 30:18 – The joy is in the giving 36:03 – Walking the family / work tightrope 41:07 – Humour as a way in 47:56 – You had me at IMAX helmet 56:00 – Ego doesn’t let you enjoy the moment 1:08:10 – Five strategies to let go of ego If you’d like to watch this full…

We’re nervous. We’re excited. We’re nervous and excited. Because it’s Mary freaking Fowler day. 🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale now! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House, all the way from Manchester, Mary answers the question ‘what do you worry about the most?’ With wisdom far beyond her 22 years, Mary explains to Hugh, Ryan and Josh the impossible task of being the ‘perfect’ role model, especially when you are still growing up yourself. And then, in a conversation that will help many, and maybe even save the life of a few, Mary graciously shares her experiences with self-harm, and why she thinks it is so important to have the heavy conversations, even with the risk of saying the wrong thing. Mary talks about her journey with pressure and forgiveness that lead her to rediscover ‘Little Mary’, her wall of things that make her feel loved, and how she has been able to reframe her darkest times to find more empathy for others. Mary, it was an absolute dream come…

Is your communication style a red flag? It’s our favourite time of the month and Dr Emily Musgrove, our resident psychologist, is back in the studio to talk the talk (and walk the walk) about healthy communication. The impact of our learning history (colloquially known as “baggage”) gets a heavy feature in this episode, as Ryan, Josh and Bridge unpack their communication styles, and how this has impacted their intimate relationships. Dr Emily talks us through why the real challenge of communicating is not our use of language, but rather regulation of emotion, and gifts us a plethora of acronyms to practice at home the skills of effective communication. Dr Em, always a pleasure. Chapters: 0:00 – Communication, conflict, and Hannah Ferguson 10:19 – How do you (mostly?) communicate? 14:57 – The impact of our learning history 22:10 – Interpersonal Effectiveness 27:41 – Practicing getting it wrong to get it right 31:59 – Do opposites attract? 34:44 – Respond rather than react 47:51 – We all love an acronym…

Jamila Rizvi has not been the perfect sick person. When Jamila was last in our studio, she was deep in the grief stage. Jamila’s life had been irrevocably changed by the imposition of a brain tumour, and the myriad of health complications due to surgery. To put it simply, Jamila didn’t know who Jamila was anymore, and that terrified her. This week, in the Vulnerabilitea House, Jamila answers the questions “what aspects of your identity have you held onto for too long?” The drip-fed loss of cognitive functions and a new hormone condition which made her constantly starving, Jamila felt like her body and mind were no longer her own. Speaking to Hugh, Josh, and Ryan really honestly, Jamila opens up about her eating disorder during this time; how it impacted her sense of self, her relationships, and ability to connect. Jamila, it was a joy to have you back. We’re so proud of you. Chapters: 0:00 – Where are they now? 7:31 – What aspects of your identity have you held onto for too long? 20:06 – Phases of identity…