Sports Bizarre with Mick Molloy and Titus O'Reily

00:00 Hello everyone, Titus O'Reilly here. Before we get started, just want to remind you about Bizarre Plus. That's our subscriber membership program. If you join, you get access to an extra bonus episode every week and there's over a hundred in the archive of that already. 00:16 Some series we give in advance through that and if you want to become a member, the link is in the show notes. 00:23 head back to the home of all things bizarre. 00:26 Get the whiteboard out. It's a wild ride. Don't panic, it's bonkers. 00:29 We shine a light on loopy, shonky and plain outrageous behaviour from around the globe. 00:35 It's going to alarm you how the world operates. Alright, here we go. A lot of skullduggery. 00:38 It's Bizarre. Buckle up. 00:40 We're going to dive in. What could go wrong? With Mick Malloy and Titus O'Reilly. Yes, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an episode of Crime Bizarre with me, Titus O'Reilly, and joining me, Mick Malloy. Thank you. We love crime, but we love crime that doesn't go well in a funny sense more than that. I wish I paid more often. 00:59 You know what I mean? You need to seriously look into it. 01:04 Could you have seen the life of crime in your future? 01:07 Like when you were younger? If I needed cash. 01:11 Look, if I ran out of options, yes. Growing up the mean streets of Frankston, you know, you in the hood. 01:16 I'm spending a bit of time on the dark web and there's opportunities out there if you're too much spare time on your hands and off you go. If someone approached me and said, here's a couple hundred, will you go and firebomb Francois? I'd seriously think about that. 01:32 I'm going to be there anyway. Especially if you were there. I'd do it for free. While Titus is dining in there. 01:38 What time is Titus? What's his booking? 01:41 Well, speaking of firebobbing, this is one you actually identified. Man accused of cutting off his genitals, using them to start a fire, authorities say. This was a man in Indiana. 01:52 You've got to be pretty cold. You've got to really. They charge him with one count of arson. I feel like the punishment's already been doled out. 02:00 What can you do to a man who's cut his own testicles off? He could be sentenced for up to 12 years. Firefighters were dispatched to the garage fire in May. where they were also, police were called at the same time to report of a stabbing. 02:13 But it turns out it was just him. No one else was there. And this is what he'd done. He said that he wasn't helpful at the scene. He'd gone to the garage and used a kitchen knife. That's nice. This is where the male brain, I think most of us, cannot even comprehend this. 02:30 Look, if you're going to cut your own genitalia off, I think it goes big knives on the outside, small knives inside, spoon. What's the right type of knife? It's not a butter knife. 02:41 Oh, that's the idea of it. I think you want a serrated edge. Yeah. He then poured gasoline on the dismembered organ and set it on fire, leaving the garage and walking away until he found police. They found a gasoline container and four lighters as well as the kitchen knife. All the lighters always end up in the same drawer or something. Ew. Why is there a pubic hair on this lighter? 03:02 I don't know. What are you going to do? Get a group of guys standing around warming their heads on a genital fire? It's not going to like marshmallows. Mine would not burn for long. 03:15 Mine would not even get the fire started. 03:18 Big cube fire. Bush fire. 03:22 If he'd done that in the 70s, it would have burnt for days. 03:24 That's smoke hanging over the city. 03:29 Court records do not detail whether the genitals were located. 03:33 That's a big bit of detail I would have liked to have known. As you cut them off, do you care where they are? No, I suppose you could not. 03:39 This guy who had to go in and have his testicle taken off in hospital. Yeah. He had a cancer of the ball. Anyway, he went into surgery and when he came out, he goes, how'd it go? He goes, look good. It's good bad news. He said, so surgery went well but we got the wrong nut. 03:57 So now he's, think about it. Now they go, we've still got to get the one with cancer. So old mate has gone in with two balls. Yeah. Come out with none. Yeah. He's now singing with a castrati. 04:13 It's turned him into a eunuch. That's terrible. That's your worst nightmare. Well, that is. I mean, you've got one job. I'm waking up. 04:20 Yeah. It's like the vet who put down the wrong dog. 04:24 That's right. Remember? It's called bad day at the office. Remember? How's your day? Oh, yeah. You're never going to believe what happened today. 04:30 I took a guy's ball off and it was perfectly good. Look, I just had a bad day at work. I'd had a terrible night in sleep. What's going on? Sorry, guys. Because we've all made mistakes at work. That's on me. My bad. 04:45 No, I've said I'm sorry. 04:46 It was like, I've apologised. How long before you saw the funny side? 04:52 I get it. Go on. Remember on Celebrity Invention you had Dr. Chris Brown the vet on? Yes, yes. A friend of the show, great guy. But he's got a great clip he had to do once and it's for dogs, the fake balls. Mutacles. Yeah, they give them. And I think they had them for adults too but they're kind of like, you know, stress balls they're almost like. 05:11 They are. They're see-through too. You can make them see-through. Really? It became quite an exotic period where they were doing it in Europe. Like fake balls and they're all like. No, like a see-through scrotum kind of... Can you get ones that flash flashing lights? 05:29 It's like a Christmas tree down there. Like the open size. 05:33 Open for business. 05:35 Also, if I want to see the inner workings of a scrotum. 05:37 I don't think so. That's a lot. Do you reckon guys, when they get that, go, could they be a bit bigger? They would. Guys would be like, oh. Because they'd bring them in and go, we think these are the right ones for you. I'd be XXL. You can't even do medicine balls. 05:57 Oh, boy. How was that crime, by the way? Has he committed a crime? 06:01 Well, that's the thing, arson. 06:02 No, arson. That's what they're charging me. I thought it was on a day of total fire ban or something and he's gone. Mate, we don't mind your general fire, but not. Do not throw lit cigarettes out the car window or lit penises. Hey, imagine being down at the fire station. Hearing the alarm. Oh, Jesus. Down the pole, off you go. Get up, it's just some guy warming his hands on his nuts. 06:27 You go, oh, jeez, why couldn't I have gone? Roasting your nuts for an open fire. Stadium fire down the road. I've gone to the general fire. This is another one from America. Doesn't America keep delivering for us? Yeah, it does. Chaos has erupted on a cruise ship and a cruise line has had to ban 16 people over a wild brawl. So this is happening a lot. This is. 06:48 This is a bit of a favourite of ours. So this is part of this new thing which is with... 06:54 Cut price airlines now and cruisers are starting to go. We can get a lot of people on cheap fares. Yes. You've lowered the bar a bit and cruising is problematic. Yes. So what did they do? Was it all in brawl? 07:08 Well, the amazing thing about this is it was a cruise that had gone from Port Miami out to the Bahamas. Right. Was returning back to Port Miami and they were debarking, as they call it, so they were getting off to finish the cruise. Right. 07:23 And while they're waiting at customs, that's when the brawl broke out. It kicked off. Right? And these guys go. Had it been brewing? Had it been? Apparently. So the fight, I'll just read you the description of the fight of how it started. 07:37 Two unidentified women with one of them dressed in a black strapless dress seen ducking under a line divider before swinging at a woman in polka dot pajamas. 07:48 You're going through customs in polka dot. 07:51 You're a target. You're not going to sneak through, are you? 07:53 Then a woman in a yellow dress, and this video exists, is seen getting involved, grabbing onto the hair of the woman in the polka dot attire. Yeah, this is game on. Others then involve themselves throwing punches and kicks at one another with luggage. Is this all women? No, men then join in too. But the women kick it off. Always the women starting the fight. 08:14 Am I right, fellas? 08:15 No. 08:17 Luggage seen flying as US Custom and Border Protection officers rushing to break up the ball. Footage show a man holding a stanchion, you know, there's a line at the airport and it's got the poles with the material they stretch out to create the line. I don't think they have that in business. Yeah, no, you wouldn't. So anyway, he picked up one of them, like this big pole, and he's trying to hit people with it while that's happening. People are screaming. No arrests were made but a carnival spokesperson said that 16 people had been banned from its ship. 08:49 The Daily Mail then said, well, we'll find out what set this off. Apparently it was between two feuding families. Right. That had been building up on the cruise. There you go. 09:02 So there's probably like a pushing in at the buffet. 09:05 Been out at sea. Been to the Bahamas. Yeah. There's trouble brewing. They probably got scurvy. They all would have been drinking probably for like a week. 09:12 That's probably what it would have started. Bit of stink eye across a bar. See, being trapped on a boat with a bunch of people you don't know and everyone's drinking, getting a bit tired as it goes along. Yeah. It is a bit of a recipe. Well, that's basically the plot for the Odyssey. 09:27 Anyway. 09:29 They've gone on a cruise. They've gone on a cruise. The Odyssey is the bad cruise. It's just kicked off. 09:36 You know what I mean? The Odyssey is a morality tale about do not go on a cruise. 09:42 Don't go on a cruise. What good happens on a cruise? That is the best take on The Odyssey I've ever heard. 09:48 It's a warning to everyone. Don't travel by sea. He's just another Captain Skatina, Odysseus. He's just another... 09:58 Can I put a theory to you? Yeah. We're having a laugh and think they're all bunch of idiots. What if it was a distraction? 10:06 What if they're coming back from the Bahamas? We know that's a target-rich environment for cocaine and drugs. 10:12 Yeah, any sort of thing. 10:14 Maybe they're the smartest people in the room. Customs all run in. Hey, you go start kicking off with a polka dot lady. Yeah. You pull a hair. Yeah. My strap, my stress will come down. Because none of them are going to rest it. Suitcase will fly. Well, one of those suitcases is probably – 10:29 Oh, they're clever. It's like Kaiser Soze. 10:36 You're looking over here when we're really doing it. Apparently the Daily Mail reports that what they think set it off was one bystander quipping, I'm about to skip the line. Cutting lines. 10:48 Cutting lines is very. You do it, don't you? There's no tolerance for it. No. Some people. If you could stop queuing, that would be my dream. And my dream would be to have like a gold, like something you flash in your wallet that goes, I don't have to queue. Yeah, I never have to queue. I've got a gold card that says I just go. 11:08 Chewing, other people do. 11:10 My partner likes a cue. Why? Because she loves small talk with strangers. Jesus. I mean, all credit to her. It's actually a really great skill to have. She can just chat to anyone about anything and loves it. Actually, like she'll say, I love small talk. 11:28 The only cue I've ever enjoyed was in Berlin. 11:32 So there's a guy there who makes kebabs called Mustafa. Yeah. Mustafa, borderline famous, but you go and queue for a kebab and it can take anywhere between two and four hours. Right. And the queue snakes around the corner. 11:48 Yeah. 11:48 And you know this going in there. 11:50 Yeah. 11:50 But the best part is the queue snakes past about eight bars. 11:55 Right? And there's people from all over the world. Yeah. So you're literally... 12:00 standing around drinking with strangers from other parts of the planet and literally you finish your drink and someone goes in and grabs another round and round. And of course, after two hours of drinking, you're really ready for a kebab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's just the perfect, and it is the best kebab in the world. Well, it would taste good drink. So restaurateurs told me, a well-known restaurateur said, if you go to Berlin, you want to give this guy a go. Go there. And, mate, I went twice. I was about to say, did you go back in the line? 12:31 Just went around. What he does, sometimes when he's had enough, because he's just making them, he just stands out the front and has a cigarette. Everyone's going, Stafford, I know you're enjoying a cigarette, but any danger of getting back in? 12:44 Back on the tools? Getting on the tools. 12:46 It's my tummy rumbling. 12:48 That's the only cue. If you've got a cue, you need to make, well, what they do in casinos. Yeah. 12:55 Oh, yeah, everyone gets a free meal. Here's your ticket. Yeah. Of course, the ticket is a queue and beside the queue are pokies. Pokies. And so while you're standing there, they've got you for about half an hour as you've got to, what are you going to do, sit there and not play the pokies? They've more than made back the cost of what the meal would have been. And you're losing. So it's kicked off with a queue of people trying to get off. And someone, this is, someone's jumped the road. They're tired. 13:23 They've been drinking. 13:24 They've been stuffing themselves on the buffet. Did they get arrested? 13:28 No, they didn't get charged. 13:30 But they'd been banned from Carnival. And that's a punishment, is it? Yeah, that's right. They're never allowed back on. What if it's a Disney cruise? 16 kids kicked off. My kids are desperate to go on the Disney cruise. And they keep running. And we saw it at, we went up to Burma-Gui and I think at Bega it was docked. 13:49 And they go, oh, my God, Dad, we've got to go on this. And I just was like, you know, just, I mean, I'll put you on it. 13:57 That's no good one. The Virgin one, which is like no kids, isn't it? It's like a party boat. Yeah, there's a few party ones. Party boat. Stay out of that spa. 14:05 What was the famous one? Festo the Fun Ship. 14:08 Fun Ship. We used to call it HMAS herpes. 14:13 That thing was, let's just scuffle that. I'd love to see a Titanic-style movie based around a person and at the front instead of, you know, that wonderful picture with King of the World. Yeah. There'll just be a girl holding another girl's hair back while she vomits. 14:29 I know. 14:30 You wouldn't have been on a cruise. That's about to be like a floating schoolies week. 14:36 Oh, yeah, it is. Why would I go on a cruise, mate? I'm just saying you would have never. That's my assumption. 14:40 I hired an 80-foot boat and went around the West Indies following the cricket team with a staff of three. 14:47 That's slightly different. 14:49 Very similar. Did you organise it with a whole bunch of people but everyone couldn't go? It's just me and one mate. Which would have worked out better. That was fantastic. Trust me. A couple of places I can tell you where to go. 15:03 This guy, an Aussie, he discovered an unlimited cash ATM glitch. 15:09 Oh, yeah. And he said that it was like discovering fire for the first time. 15:14 So these things, from my memory, are great until you get busted. That's right. And then you pretty much got to pay everything back. Is that right? 15:22 Yeah, well. How much do you get away with? $1.6 million. 15:27 The ATM is paying out. Over what period of time? You wouldn't be able to help yourself. You'd be back there every day. 15:33 Four and a half months. Four and a half months. So this happened a while ago, but he's come out and done an interview where he's explained what he spent the money on, right? His name is Dan Saunders. He's from Wangaratta in northeast Victoria, a regional town. 15:47 Yeah. 15:47 And he worked out there was a glitch. Now, they don't tell us what the glitch was. So this is the thing. I don't know whether it's a certain way of pressing the numbers or a certain combination. But he worked out that there was a glitch with National Australia Bank ATMs where they could withdraw limited cash from the machines. 16:07 Pretty great, you know. Yes. And he said he was working as a barman at the time. 16:12 You've got to supplement your wages. 16:14 So, yeah. So, he said that he discovered this whole thing. He said it turned his whole life upside down. He said, I found a glitch in the NAB system, which is a bank here in Australia. Where I was able to make my account balance look like it had millions of dollars in there when it didn't really. Then I could go into the branch and literally ask the teller how much is in my account and they'd say, oh, well, there's 1.6 million in there. And so I could just draw whatever I wanted. So you go the ADM first, do this trick. 16:40 But the money was not in the account? 16:41 Well, it looked like it in their systems. 16:44 So then he could draw against it. He could draw against it. 16:47 He could take out loans. 16:49 That's right. He'd go to the ATM and do this trick, walk into the bank and go, could you like my balance? How much is in there? And they'd go, well, there's 1.6 million. He'd go, yeah, great. I'll take 50K. 17:00 Knowing he can do the trick again, right? He said it was like discovering fire or something for the first time if you're a caveman. He said to spending the money became extremely addictive. 17:11 Yeah, how do you do it? 17:13 What was his big purchases? 17:15 Well, he said, the way I would describe it is you get all your friends in a circle and you say, hey, what do you want to do today? So some people wanted a car, some people wanted a horse. The horse cost $50,000. 17:31 Wow. So you're just making dreams come true. 17:33 So they all know what he's up to, right? 17:35 Well, I assume, like, yeah. He hasn't said I've won the lottery. He's going, hey, I'm rorting a bank. I don't know what he told them all, but he'd say he'd get his friends together and go, I've got the money, what do you want to do? He said, one night I remember I shouted the whole restaurant dinner and a lady came up to me and said, are you the richest guy in Australia? And I said, no, no, I think I'm seventh. Wow. 17:56 Good on him. That's the way to spend it, though. 17:59 Yeah. This one's on me, everybody. Yep. So it was all cars, dinners, clothes, travel, like all that sort of stuff. So he lived a high life. Good. He said the ability to spend the money, he had confidence because he knew that he could just go and do the trick again whenever he wanted, right? Yeah. So when he was running a bit low, he'd just go da-da-da, take out 100 grand, whatever he wanted. He said he grew an enormous amount of confidence in himself. 18:25 Because he'd go into a restaurant and he could just flash cash or spend any money. So he just was like, it's like having a lot of money is like having a superpower in a way because you can just make problems go away or you can just impress people easily. By the way out of trouble. Into trouble. You go, oh, I'll just shout at the bar. Everyone goes, you're a great guy. So he said that. But he said the problem was he started to have a lot of anxiety. He said, I thought I was going to get caught at any time. I'd have nightmares about the SWAT team storming in. I didn't know why it was a SWAT team. 18:56 I didn't have any guns. So he said eventually the guilt was too much. How'd they get him? He handed himself into the bank and he said they said they were going to come get me and then nothing happened for three years. 19:10 So he's done this for four and a half months, spent $1.6 million of their money, felt guilty, rang up the bank, said, guys, I feel really guilty. I'm going to confess. 19:23 And he thought they were going to come through the door and get him. Instead, nothing happened for three years. So he said, the anxiety built and built, and I eventually had to do what I felt was right. So I told the media about what had happened just to come get some closure on the whole thing. You jerk. 19:39 So the bank had kind of obviously, I reckon, gone, we don't want anyone to know about this. 19:43 We don't want to deal with this. Yep. So they probably – someone went down to the IT people and said, correct this error. Just, yeah, make this go away. They probably found other people were doing it. I mean, we don't know. Like – Well, no other one. No one else would go and turn themselves in. Go and turn themselves in, right? Well, he tried to turn himself into them. If they don't come for you after three years, I'm going, you know what? You're done. You move on. We'll move on. 20:09 That's what they want. I told the bank they didn't even say anything. So he said that I then told the man that's where this all blew up. So police eventually issued a warrant for his arrest and charged him. He was jailed for 12 months and ordered to serve 18 months of community service and fined. $250,000. Which he paid in cash. 20:25 Which he went to the NAB. He went to the ATM. I'm good for it. 20:33 I'm good for it. 20:35 What an idiot. 20:36 He said it was worth it to give himself closure. He said he even saw jail as a bit of an experience as well. 20:44 He said a lot of people ask him why he didn't become an international fugitive. 20:48 That's right. He could be a man of mystery. He could write a movie about this guy. Yeah. 20:52 Like the guy, you know, Leonardo DiCaprio could play him in a... See, I reckon it's not unbelievable that someone else wasn't... If he figured this out, the odds of the amount of people using... There's four big banks in Australia. NAB's one of the big four. The amount of millions of Australians using those ADMs every day. If he's figured this out... The odds that there aren't others, I'd love to know. I bet you told one of his mates. His mate with a horse. The mate who now lives in Panama. 21:21 Who he hasn't seen in 10 years. 21:23 It reminds me, remember there was a petrol pump that was paying out and that wouldn't, there was a petrol pump somewhere in Victoria and it wasn't charging. It was like it would give you the petrol and it wouldn't rig up the price. Right. And eventually the owner knew something was wrong when there was a queue of like 400 metres of cars to use pump six. Yeah, all the others are empty. That's what bothers me. I just reckon if that's on the bank, And he's done the bank a favour. 21:53 So, you know, sometimes corporations hire hackers to go, hack into my account, see if you can hack us, see if you can break through our firewall because if you can, that will be a great service to us. And then they end up employing those guys. Well, the bank should say, thank you for stealing $1.4 million. And you've pointed out something very valuable to us and here's a bonus. I know. Yeah. Don't you think that's the way that should have gone? Well, yeah, I would have been gone. It's like to me, so there's another case of this the other day. 22:25 A woman playing the pokies got some incredible payout. It was worth $20 million or something. She'd been putting all their money in. And then they come out and said, sorry, there's a glitch in the machine. It's not right. And you go, bad luck. Bad luck on you. It paid out. You know, what about when I was putting in? How many times when I'm putting in my money and I'm putting in all my money? 22:45 Yeah. 22:46 And they offered her like two grand or something. She's won like 20 million. But if the glitch was the other way, they wouldn't be rushing. But it isn't. Why don't you go and track down everyone who used that machine and said, sorry, all the takings off that machine for the last six months are invalid. Yeah. But they just go... Surely at that point, you've got to cop it. It's on our mistake. The lights went off. You had the celebration. 23:10 You can't go, sorry. Sorry. Sorry, that's not real. 23:14 The house always wins. Always. We've got it rigged. 23:19 So when he said a lot of people didn't be, why he didn't become an international fugitive, he gave his reasons. I want to see if you would agree with this. 23:27 That would have meant leaving my family and friends behind and forever looking over my shoulder. I could never see my mum again or do simple things like watching the footy at the MCG or talking crap with my mates over a few beers. 23:39 To be honest, I'd be gone in a heartbeat. None of those reasons. Leave the family. 23:45 Tick. Everything he says there to me sounds like a positive. 23:50 But he's in some ways. 23:52 Live on the edge. 23:54 He said he discovered what is most important to him and that's not money or pretending to be something or someone I'm not, that real ordinary life and my family and friends are truly invaluable. Not sure about it. He says he doesn't want to return to a high-flying lifestyle. He says it's interesting but the grass is not always greener on the other side. I don't think that's true. I'm not sure about that. I think if you're, you know. I'll take those risks. 24:20 I'm prepared. 24:22 I'm prepared. 24:24 Put everything on the line for a life on the run with millions. With millions of dollars. Yes. You did. Hiding out in exotic locations. 24:34 You don't have to look after your shoulder. You just go somewhere where there's no an extradition treaty and you're fine. 24:41 Party. 24:41 Yeah, party. 24:43 Anyway, isn't that an amazing story though? It feels like it shouldn't be in the crime section though. 24:48 Still, it's a crime. 24:49 He's been charged and convicted. Idiots. Oh, this is a crime one you'll like. 24:53 All right. Fire away. 24:54 DoorDash, you know, the home delivery. I do. In America, this is in San Antonio. DoorDash delivery robot crashed an active SWAT scene. 25:05 A SWAT robot? 25:07 Right. 25:07 So they have one of those automated robots that they have over there to deliver stuff. Anyway. There's a standoff hostage situation. The SWAT are all there. Officers, their weapons are drawn. The perimeter is locked down. 25:24 There's a guy there with a possible weapons-related incident inside a house. Yes. And they are negotiating with him. Yes. And while they're all there, a knee-high delivery robot named Dot... 25:35 Rolls through the crime screen tape like a finish line ribbon. Yeah. With what? 25:41 They wouldn't reveal what's in it, but it's like someone's burritos or Maccas. 25:46 And the police, and this is all on video, the police start going, robot, stop. But it's not program. It's like the whole thing is get to where I'm delivering my food. That's it. I've got a job to do. Yeah, they start telling it to turn around and it just keeps rolling. And so it's got just GPS on it. 26:04 There's a guy on a megaphone talking to the robot. 26:08 Put down the burrito. Put down that burrito. So they're in the middle of it. It said that they rang DoorDash who made the robot stop, right? They did it remotely? Yeah, but it's just stopped. It's not moving. They can't move it. It's still in the middle of the crime scene. It's still in the middle of the crime scene. And it stayed there the whole time even when they were using flashbang grenades. 26:30 They should have got the DoorDash to deliver them. That's right, deliver them. And so it sat there and now it's created this whole thing about what to do in active emergencies with these robots and where they're going. 26:44 That's not a good one. That's not a good one. That doesn't work at all. 26:47 No. Now, just before we finish with AI robots running wild, New York City jail watchdog has decided to stop using the word inmate Because a social group says it's derogatory. Oh, my God. 27:02 Dear, oh, dear. So you can't even be derogatory towards inmates. What's wrong with inmate? Well, they've changed. How is that derogatory? They said they want to have a board commitment to employ person-first language, so not dehumanise people. 27:18 You're just trying to make me angry. You're really trying to get me to blow up. 27:23 They want person-first terms. Like what? So what they want to use is. Good Lord. And they also want it to be using both person-first, which means they don't humanise someone. You're not a number, but you're also just not an inmate. And they also want it to be gender-inclusive language, which I don't know if mate is C. Well, we've got pronouns, haven't we? Yeah, so now you won't say mate, you will say people in custody or person in custody. 27:49 I'm never going to say that, ever. 27:52 I guarantee you I will never refer to them as people in custody. Or a person in custody. Or a person in custody. I know. This is where. Jesus. 28:00 On a scale of one to ten. Of all the issues. 28:02 Of things we need to address. 28:03 Yeah. Of all the problems in the world. 28:05 Yeah. 28:06 Has an inmate ever complained once? I know. 28:09 Imagine an inmate. They don't want your help. They're quite happy. 28:12 Serial killer so-and-so said, you know, I just really feel like it's really dehumanising calling me an inmate. I just feel really upset about it. I'm not okay with serial killer either. 28:24 I don't think that throws me into a group. 28:26 Killer is so harsh too. I would like to be called a series killer, not a serial. 28:34 I've got a thing against orange. 28:37 Could we have a jumpsuit? Not only a jumpsuit, like a pants, a onesie. Could I have a onesie, a green one? 28:43 This orange, it just clashes with my skin colour. It is just, it washes me out. 28:50 And I'm a person in custody, goddammit. 28:53 Inmates. 28:55 Prisoner. Prisoner. They have a number. They literally have a number. Yeah, you literally have a number. 29:03 You've got to be appreciated when the prison guard beating you up is referred to as a person in custody. That's solved every problem. When you're being shivved, the paperwork says person in custody. That makes your life so much better. 29:20 Oh, my. All right. I'm just... No, I'm not biting. I just put that in. I'm not biting. I just knew that you would enjoy that one. Well, there you go, Crime Bizarre. We'll be back next week. We're covering a bit of ground. If you're a member of Bizarre Plus, you get access to other series as well. You get access to over 100 back catalogue episodes, all sorts of nonsense. We'd love to see you over there, and we'll see everyone again very soon.